I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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