You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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