Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
smell my finger.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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