Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
