I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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