I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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