Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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