it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
