I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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