I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
