I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
