here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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