Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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