The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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