She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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