why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
