i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
