i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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