You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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