how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
