just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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