that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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