I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
