hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
