Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
