do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
