Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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