I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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