i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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