My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
When are your genitals available?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
