I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
