If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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