While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
