I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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