are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I cut my penus on the lid.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
