i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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