I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
