Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
