I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
