thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
