Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
