I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
