If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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