But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
