i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
