How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
