We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
