i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
