Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
