awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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