put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
