There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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