TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He did a backflip because drugs
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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